A new page

I've set myself a lot of goals previously, and I did it again for the next year aswell!

I am not ashamed to admit that I fail miserably at completing tasks that I set up for myself. There is no point convice myself otherwise.. But that doesn't have to mean it is pointless to set them up again!

The art of tasking

You should set up tasks for yourself. Not only is it a healthy way of keeping track of things, but it helps to organize yourself passivelly aswell!

I am setting up tasks constantly.. I have so many platforms on which I constantly create a new tasks for me to complete, but I never even get to read or check up on them. It is like a disability - I just am not able to complete the tasks at all! I know I suffer from this issue and it damages me not only in my personal life, but in my professional even more.

I spent majority of 2023 looking for ways to learn and force myself to organize myself, keep track of things and find necessary time to write, record, review, evaluate and in other ways - save my memories into physical media. Not only to ease the actual organization of time but to also free up my personal memory space - which was absolutely clogged to the max this year!

Where's the balance?!

As I am constantly learning new things, forcefully, I also suffer from some kind of ADHD symptoms (even though I do not believe I am on the spectrum) - I switch between objectives too much, too often. Losing valuable data and information everytime. I have ideas and plans to create tools and apps to help me save all the data and dump the contents of my own memory in an easy and useful way - but that requires time to develop, time which I do not possess. There is so much to be done, yet so little time to do it, all the time.

We can safely say that you reading this text basically means that I was able to finish at least one of my projects - my personal blog. I wanted to create and take care of a blog since I was a kid. But I never had creative mind, ideas or energy to write pages full of text. Getting older, I find it quite enjoyable and relaxing to dump my thoughs into a blank white page, without expecting some kind of result, masterpiece or another materialistic manifestation. Previously, I was dumping my random burst of thoughs into a camera on my phone, projecting and talking about all the random stuff that was stuck in my mind for a long time, it really helped to slowly capture the erupting chaos and tame it into stable waves that are somewhat gracefully letting me function.

On the other hand, I am still "killing" valuable time, that could be utilized in some of the other - even paid - projects, that are still unfinished. So, finding this balance is probably going to be one the major goals for 2024. 

What changed since 2022?

I reflect upon myself every year. And every year I am proud how smarter, more complex, clever and mature I am. And every year I just do not understand how I could be so dumb several years back. This year is surprisingly not any different! I am, once again, absolutely proud how I evolved this year. I've made some mistakes, but by count, far less than previous years. 

I had a major breaktrough this year though! I was able to automatically recognize a big decision before I committed and actually stopped myself to think first, before answering. That is something I just wasn't able to previously. Everytime some decision was required, my brain activated the most efficient, profficient parts and elevated power to 100% to be able to produce answer ASAP. Which you surely know is the most ineffective or damaging way to decide everytime. My results wasn't worst, utilizing this critical thinking, but it wasn't required for me to decide that fast. I tried to learn this skill for a long time - being mostly unsuccessful - but this year I am confident to say, that I did it! Not once, not twice, but multiple times I was met with some kind of big decision that required deep thought process and deliberate weighting of consequences, meanwhile I really stopped myself in the middle of the maximum brain power moment. Realizing that it is too hasteful for me to decide it straight away, postponing the decision to later. I am really happy for me and proud that I finally did it! 

Before 2022 ended I've given myself one crucial task that I wanted to accomplish for a few previous years aswell. Losing some weight, gaining strength again and start to take care of myself again - physically, mentally and visually. I have to be more critical here and say that I am still not satisfied with the progress enough to call it a day. But I kept it in my mind for the entire year and actually had some results! I've lost over 15kg stabilizing myself on 105kg (at 187cm height) - "YAY" says my BMI index! I even managed to do some proper training and find some irregular time to do physical stuff utilizing the power of my muscles. And to top it off, I've bought an electric scooter! Which effectively forced me to drive it daily to/from work. And since it's actually quite powerful and fast moving, it requires more physical engagement while driving it, forcing me to exercise on the move. Connecting all these together, the results are motivating and I will continue improving my physical status in the next year aswell!

Welcoming 2024

Another year flew past us. The older I am, the faster time flies for me. When I was 15, my biggest wish was time being faster, for me to grow older faster. When I was 18, I wished for money, so I could buy myself nice things. When I was 25, I wanted to mean something, to inspire others, to teach skills and knowledge. At 28, my son was born and my priorities did multiple 360s and shifted to all directions. Next year I will be 30 years old and I can already feel my priorities changing again, shifting more towards providing but also returning to the all the previous directions in some way.

I have big bussiness plans for next year. Deeply thought-out this time. Pre-laid and prepared, without me risking everything or me riding an edge of poverty again. I was able to mentally fortify myself against most of the negative aspects of modern life, even setting up mental tools for me to utilize in case they're needed. I can confindently say that I expect a lot of professional growth and focus next year.

While building my professional life I also want to take more care of my hobbies aswell! I aim to finish first usable beta version of ArmaEvents before the end of 2023, I also want to prepare foundations for my ITHead propagation materials and maybe I will try and conceptualize some physical device to keep my needs of physical utilizations in check. As for my running-yet-paused projects - I wasn't able to figure out next steps for them yet (looking at you pawno.cz 😥) and people in charge of moderation and upkeep are not helpful in any meaningful ways either. Pawno is celebrating a major age milestone next year though.. I was thinking of some kind of event two years back, but seeing the forum die even more despite our tries to save it or even wake it up, makes me sad and lose hope. I need to weight out the announcement of retiring the project officially and confirming that we will not try to move the project any further. 

See you next year!

Thanks for reading this massive dump of random stuff that came to my mind on-the-go. I wish you merry christmas and happy new year! All the best to each one of you (my readers) and see you next year!