State of byz

If you are even remotely related to IT, you must know that all users are the source of etternal pain and sorrow. We all know that, we all felt that and we all have to deal with that.

How it begun

I was the go-to family IT nerd for a long time, as I am doing some kind of IT for more than 15 years, you can imagine the amount of pain and sorrow I have attained during those years. For a long time, I was providing my (rapidly growing and improving) services and skills for free or for some small non-monetary reward. I always thought that you need schools and entry points to be able to work in the IT (spoiler alert: you don't). So I was happy I could utilize my hobby to help others. As I grew older I realized that people are just dumb and after reaching 20 years of age, I started realizing that people are not only dumb, but absolutely lazy. The laziness is so epic that it completely outweights any dumbness you can experience.. I've stopped teaching people how to do stuff long time ago, not only they do not care, they are not even listening to you explaining, only wishing for this to end so they can play solitaire again.

So I decided to try and pursue a career in IT as a freelancer, offering (at that time) my knowledge of multiple programming languages (web oriented) and quite extensive knowledge of Windows OS. I quickly found some people willing to pay for my service and I've made some quick and easy bucks. Until it became too repetitive - I've entered a cycle of stereotype for which I was not prepared for. This repeating chore of choosing templates, boilerplating, preparing data structures and building foundations started to kill me (in a non-literal sense). This projected into the quality of my work and later resulted in me blocking comms - even ghosting people. I wasn't prepared for this situation in any way - no school can prepare you for this, nor can your parents which did not experience it for themselves. I melted like an ice cube during hot summer.

This culminated, or rather evolved, into a weird on-off cyclic state in which I completed -some- work and then vanished for couple of months, only to reappear and do this all over again, while losing sanity all the time. I was able to somehow attain some clients over the course of an year or two, but I ghosted almost everyone in the end. 

I knew I had to figure out some way of working over multiple fields, like sales, management, comms, analytics and others along the main workhorse - programming. So I tried and experimented in several different angles, eventually forming some kind of workflow that held up for some time. However, it was really draining, taking a toll on my mental health. I tried adjusting and rebalancing of the flow. Even my mental dispositions were not unattended. But I failed once again - eventually burning out and totally banishing programming for several months, after attaining dept from various sources (state, client contracts etc.)

There I was, at the start line once again. This time, I had knowledge, I had experience and I knew what to expect and what success I had before. Yet, I had try it again. I want to be independent and I know I have the potential to do so.

How it continued

This year was aimed towards improving my mental state, my workflow and balancing my workload. I reconnected with one of my previous major clients and tried adjusting to their demands whenever needed. Me being me, I picked my most complicated and hard to please client, perceiving bigger profit as a tool to boost my motivation and control my procrastination. I am still fighting this fight, but slowly I am starting to win over my blockade and I am starting to build a solid foundation upon which I can grow my bussiness.

Before I went all in into the independent bussiness, I've worked in several companies. Every company was completely different and the work was always new and unknown for me. So I learned a lot of skills from all kinds of branches. My brain works in a way, that allows me to analyze, conceptualize and then mine valuable data or info out of everything I learn. I am then able to concatenate my attained knowledge and use creativity to utilize it in ways, which wouldn't be thought of before. That gives me opportunities, ideas and tools. Thanks to this trait I am able to widen my sphere of influence far beyond my normal expectations. 

What now?

Today, I decided I would try my social engineering once again, trying to gain a new client for me. I went into a barber shop, that I know had suboptimal reservation system on Facebook and no website for propagation and information. I activated my dont-give-a-fuck special power and started blasting - eventually gaining interest in my skills from said to-be client. I shared my contacts and happily went home.

Although accomplishing my goal, my brain wouldn't let me cherish my dopamine/serotonin coctail splashing inside at the moment and decided it would be a great idea to ride this wave further and visit my old client to scout out any potential byz there. I haven't seen this guy for at least an entire year, so I didn't know what to expect. I knew and I was certain that he was as busy if not even busier than before. When I met him again, he was so flabergasted he didn't even recognize me. I later found out that he is so packed with work that he doesn't remember even basic day-to-day stuff - basically state that I was in few years ago. I offered him my services again, even reminding him that he has an unfinished website in my garage (he didn't have time to properly overview final polishing) and he jumped on the train rather immediately, even asking me to do some maintenance on his other web that is still running.

What else?

As this was quite a two-fold morale boosting experience, I am eager to push it even further. But that will have to wait until next year as I have yet to complete my other major projects, before I move on to next stuff.